My 72 hour trip to West Palm Beach. Midweekpost play-by-play style. Some pictures look worse than others... well those were taken from my phone. I had thought that this trip would be something like 50 hours but my basic arithmatic skills seemed to have failed me.
Saturday 3:35am - Have you ever got to a point where you think to yourself"it's just too late to sleep." Well, that's right about now. I knew I shouldn't have gone to see an 11:30pm showing of War of the Worlds. Oh well, at least I had a cup of cappuccino to keep me awake. The movie's pretty good to boot.
4:17am - Driving to the airport... getting sleepy.
4:45am - The airport is desolate. Gate 5 will be my home for the next hour and fifteen minutes.
5:08am - I'm crudely awoken by a phone call from my friend Diane making sure I've woken up... I respond by asking what the heck she's doing up at 5am.
6:00am - We board. By chance my friends Lou and Rachel are on the same flight - their final destination is NYC.
7:00am - Arrive in Atlanta Hartsfield International airport. Checker's Turkey Sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit is consumed. Rachel spills one half bottle of orange juice on Lou. Lou practices gentlemanly degree of patience. I get more napkins. Homefries aren't the most ideal food at 7am. I decide to walk to concourse A rather than take the tram. En route I stop by the Sunglass Hut and buy a pair of Maui Jim sunglasses. My better instincts tell me that my purchase isn't entirely prudent.
8:46am - Take off for Palm Beach.
9:02am - Ginger Ale & Sunchips. Delish.
10:00am - I arrive at Palm Beach International. I think that my struggle with fatigue is bad but evidently the girl sitting across the aisle from me is slightly worse off.
10:15am - In my groggy state I give up on trying to find the SuperShuttle ($13) and ask the Yellow Cab attendant to get me a cab. I guess he misconstrues that for "get me a chauffer (named Richard) and a Town Car asap." Well two minutes later I'm in on my way to Singer Island. Fifteen minutes and $52 later I arrive at the Crowne Plaza. I feel famous and ripped off at the same time. Rock!
10:30am - Get to my cousin Jeany's hotel room. Nice view. Just like the picture on the website.
10:45am - I'm on the beach in a cabana. Barry Manilow's song"Copacabana" comes to mind. I find it on my iPod and listen. I am thoroughly satisfied. I prop my feet up and take a pic. Then I take a pic of my cousin Jeany and myself.
Noonish - A Corona arrives. I decide that there's good reason why all those Corona commercials are shot on the beach.
2:00pm - Anthony arrives. I take picture of him and my cousin. A good looking pair.
4:07pm - Old fellow in loose speedo walks by. I choose not to take picture.
4:38pm - Afternoon showers and men in speedos force us to head indoors.
5:45pm - Rain stops.
8:47pm - Dinner at Coconuts (...put the lime in the Coke you nut...) restaurant. The salad with gorgonzola bleu cheese, baked clams, grilledtuna, and fried cheesecake are splendiferous. But not as splendiferous asthe word "gorgonzola". Dessert is consumed in less than six minutes. Literally.
10:o0pm - Wine addled, we meander back to our hotel room. We hear muffled booming and explosions in the distance. Opening our curtains we realize that there is a fireworks show off on the mainland. 'Tis a pretty display of pyrotechnics.
10:20pm - One of the fireworks looks like an atomic bomb. The picture ends up looking like something out of Baghdad. But...
10:40 - Neither are nearly as impressive as the drunken people on the beach who decide to put on a f'r-wurx display of their own. The cursing that follows directly after one explodes too closely is classic. Somehow I manage to take a picture. A Kodak moment indeed.
11:20 - I'm awoken by Minnie poking my side... Evidently I have passed out on the patio from exhaustion. Further disturbing is the fact that I was told that one of my eyes remained open while I slept. I decide to pursue further dormant activities in my bed. It has been a long 48 hours. The sateen sheets are marvelous.
Sunday 11:30am - 12 hours and ten minutes later I awake. I haven't slept that long since I was stuffed with Gerber peas and carrots.
12:13pm - We make our way to Sunday brunch (free mimosas?!). I help myself to some eggs benedict - which I use to gauge any quality breakfast establishment - and am sorely dissapointed. I make it up with smoked salmon and capers. My cousing gawks and comments on the ungodly amount of salmon I eat. I pay no heed. I'm already on my way for fourths.
2:30pm - We finally make it to the beach. I receive several cheery comments about my t-shirt which proudly displays "Will work for burritos". One short angered managerial-dressed woman threatens (jokes?) about putting me to work. I nervously laugh and scamper off hoping her misaligned teeth do not conjure nightmares.
2:28pm - I notice that there are crowds of people gathering on the shore...turns out they're actually staring at a small shark. It looks like sunken driftwood to me but what do I know. It must be some type of aqueous creature because it eventually swims off. Even more odd are the fully clothed couple kissing and embracing in the water not too far away. Ah, love...
4:30pm - We decide to take the shindig poolside. But first, some random pictures of the girls flexing. Oh and the boys in hats. I think we have the hats reversed though... because I manage to make mine look like a beanie.
5:00pm - Anthony and I walk down to the convenience store for refreshments and salty victuals. The "Grator Gator" suffices.
5:45pm - When we return I take to reading "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" (great book) while sipping on a cold Amstel Light and listening to Chicago. An odd scene.
7:43pm - After poolside extravaganzas Anthony and I part with the girls and go throw frisbee. I lose frisbee in sand dune. Anthony finds crustacean in sand dune.
8:00pm - Anthony attempts to lick crustacean.
8:02pm - I attempt to eat crustacean.
8:40pm - We head back up to the room. I take a picture of the sunset. Ahhh.
9:30pm - We spy an Aston Martin DB7 Volante... one of my dream cars.
10:18pm - We meet back up with the girls for dinner. None of us realize it's so late. My medium rare filet mignon oscar is rapidly consumed as are the lemonpepper chips with ranch and the mixed greens salad that preceed it. A comment is made about my goofy antics reminding them of Brendan Frasier. I take it in stride and continue ranting and raving about the "wanta Fanta"jingle. The ranting and raving also contain several remarks about "Dolphin"being a menu offering. There is no further gussying-up of the entree title, simply dolphin. $19.95.
10:50pm - I break to use the restroom, but hark something catches my wandering eye. What is it praytell? 'Tis a decappitated men's restroom signman, of course. I take a picture of the sad (and disturbing) sign and wonder to myself exactly where this poor plastic chaps's head has gone too.
Midnight - After a dessert of tiramisu and chocolate ice cream we gluttons make our way back to the room. I bring back up conversation about the "wanta Fanta" song. Marketing genius if you ask me.
Midnight:45 - We peruse thru the various pictures taken on people's cameras. Laughter.
2:00am - Our bodies decide to call it quits and I go to reflecting on the days events by typing out the last 36 hours on my blackberry. I stop when my thumbs begin to cramp/bleed.
3:17am - I slumber.
11:30am - My slumber comes to an end.
12:00pm - I slather myself with suntan lotion hastily and make my way to the beach. My cousin is already on a jet ski. I think that I spot her in the distance. She's moving... er... quickly. I find interest in my Jamaica visor.
1:00pm - The pool chair and I become one. My body goes into a slow bake. Make that a quick bake actually.
3:00pm - We split up for lunch. Girls go to room for showers n' such. Us boys make our way to Max & Eddie's cucina (a pizza joint). Well, the hotelis nice enough to give us a free lift there. Too bad the restaurant isclosed. Crud. We opt to go to the coffee shop next door. Buddy's Cafe & Deli.
3:08pm - We gnarsh on a Reuben and a meatloaf sandwich with fries and bleu cheese. It's a blissful, greasy event - I enjoy each savory moment.
3:34pm - Opt to make the half mile trek back to the hotel by foot. Our conversation somehow steers from business to those of the opposite gender. Complaints and laughter.
4:05pm - We arrive back at the hotel so I can prepare to leave.
5:00pm - Gel is placed in hair.
5:15pm - The shuttle arrives to pick us up.
5:45pm - We arrive at PBI airport. I leave from the Thomas McDougal Terminal, gate B27. Oh wait, there is not gate B27. I'm looking at the wrong ticket. Natch.
6:07pm - I notice the airport has an indoor putting green.
6:27pm - My flight is still on time...
7:00pm - Still on time...
7:05pm - Bing-bong. The attendant announces that the flight is delayed. I am now scheduled to depart at 8pm. Agh.
7:10pm - The pilot comes on the PA an announces that he's going to board the plane and head leave the gate regardless. Interesting.
7:30pm - We're still on the tarmac. I fall asleep.
7:55pm - I awake and ask the flight attendant if there are any available open seats. She says the entire last row is open. I move. After sitting down I notice a hint of lavatory disinfectant in the air. I distract myself with the fine literary publication, Sky Mall. But first I take a snapshot of Singer Island of my phone. I'm able to make out our hotel in the distance. No joke.
8:20pm - I sprawl out across all three seats and resume my nap. The couple across the aisle appear to be having an important discussion.
9:40pm - As we approach the airport the pilot announces that we should look out our windows to see fireworks. It's quite a sight. I fail to take a picture of it. Once we land I do manage to take a pretty interesting looking picture of the Atlanta airport and a firework going off in the background.
10:00m - I enter the terminal and am greeted with notice that my flight to Knoxville has been delayed to 11:30pm. I curse, call my friend and curse, hang-up and curse again.
10:30pm - I get a snack at one of the few places still open in the terminal, Popeye's. I celebrate our country's Independence Day with a feast of spicy chicken tenders, pink lemonade and a magazine to read. Cheers.
11:08pm - They announce that Delta partner Air France flight 8670 will actually be flying us to Knoxville due to late arrival of our actual plane and crew. I wonder how many times Air France has flown to Knoxville? Surely it can't be a common occurence. I'm distracted from this thought when I hear people sitting next to me talk about Pigeon Forge.
12:15am - Arrive in Knoxville
12:30am - I get in my car and head out of Long Term parking. Such a depressing name.
1:00am - Unpack, hook-up, sign-on, check-in...
3:28am- Post.
