By my rough calculations I did, after lunch of course, I think I'm going to be paying more in taxes alone in New York than I made net after paying taxes in Knoxville. They've got more taxes up there than I can shake a W-2 Form at.

That may sound confusing my friends but either way it's a wholly depressing thought...

I'm moving.

Not across town. Not across the county. Not across the state. I'm moving 710 miles from Knoxville, Tennessee to an even smaller city called New York. I never forsaw moving to such a small rural village like New York but here I am, 25 years old, up and relocating myself to what might be the most miniscule place in the United States... possibly the world. Maybe that's why the called it the "Big Apple" because that's about the size of it. Depressing, I know.

Actually, it's quite disturbing having to move from such a cultural and diverse mecca like Knoxville to a township mired in its own sprawling backwardness. Who would have ever thought I would hastily gather all my belongings and move to a slaughterhouse of repundancy which New York has seemingly found itself in.

Um, someone just tapped on my shoulder and said that I transposed the names of the cities in the previous two paragraphs. So, if you would kindly just swap those two around and point the references the other way around then it should make a little more sense. Apologies.

There is a movie called 28 Days Later starring some British chap who was in Batman Forever. Well, that movie is important to this post... right now... because of well, the title. 28 days from now (later) I will be starting a new job with this little company called Viacom (grin) who, by my rough calculations, controls roughly 90% of the television/movies/media people watc. Wait, I grossly overestimated that. It's actually just 85%. Maybe I'll end up on the Surreal Life XI plauged with backstabbish infighting (Omarossa style, no less) or a VJ on MTV sharing my weird-as-hell music collection or perhaps a host on 60 Minutes narrating investigative journals into the awesomeness, that is, Koreans born in East Tennessee (K-BET's).

Or perhaps I'll just dive right into the reality of being the Manager of Account Services, etc etc etc (I think there's a few more words in that title but I'm not privy to them right now), work 60 hours a week, be a slave to my $2k+ rent for an apartment I still haven't found and rock a caffeine infused bloodstream. Sound healthy? I can't wait.

Seriously, I haven't found a place to live and I think the sharp edged reality of that is about to hit me in the face. I know it will be in one of these boroughs but since the city really actually looks like this I have a slight inclination that it's going to be a bit tougher for me to find a place than say... Knoxville.

That said, I have a deep-rooted passion for Knoxville. One that I can't explain but by god I will show those Yankee's how we rock it down here in K-town. Even if it is a quiet night shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond.


To be continued...

One thing I did.
1. I went to Atlanta for a costume party this weekend.

Two things that made this difficult:
1. I forgot my costume.
2. We arrived too late for the party.

Three things that made this trip that much more fun:
1. As luck would have it - there was an extra "bee" costume minus a few parts.
2. Instead, went to Vision, a massive club down in Atlanta that's both overpriced and absolutely worth the admission.
3. Squeezed a trip to the painfully crowded new IKEA.

Four memorable moments/quotes:
1. "That's a spicy Gumbo... ooooeeeee!"
2. Finding a spoon in, literally IN, my pho (Vietnamese Soup).
3. The unsolicited caressing of Andy's fake chest hair by the Waffle House server at 4am.
4. "We just had to touch your... ahem...wings"

Friday was a big day for me. I can't tell you why for a few days but those of you I've run into the past couple of days may know... if not, I'll be letting you know soon enough.