Amen.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the web,

Tonight I simply have four points for you. May they ring true and loud in your hearts and minds...

1. My t(ee)thbrushing routine has reached an all time high of a four-step 10 minute process. It's gruelingly wonderful however I am still investigating into whether it is necessary to have separate "night" and "morning" toothpastes. This has been an unfortunate side effect of my orthodontists declaration that my obsessive 4-times-a-day brushing would cause rampant gum conflicts. Exit strategy pending.

2. I am announcing the committee for ELoFiP (eelofip). The committee for Eric Losing Five Pounds. I have full confidence that this committee will succeed. Each member will be armed with the latest in pedometer technology and by god Eric will walk 10,000 steps a day. 56 oz Del Monico Porterhouses or not.

3. England will be invaded. It may only be attacked by one Korean guy with the middle name of Earl but with God as my witness I will go... with fervor and no Burberry garb. I will meet my friend Dearan there and we will go to France, drink massive quantities of, well, French wine and exchange witty humor about French men not deserving their women. Stilton and gorgonzola cheese to boot.

4. My bed will come out of overstock (one month now) and it will be shipped to me. Poste haste. The Department of Homedecor Speediness will have my full support in this endeavor.

God bless you, your families, G Dubya & Clinton, my parents, my homies, my readers, and anyone else out there that goes by the name of Earl.

I'm especially proud of this photo I snapped off today... click for a larger size.

Anyway, I got a chance to head out to that neighboring-neighbor to the West. That stalworthy friend. That New Jersey... to take some pictures I had promised a friend I would. Two things came about this trip that I thought noteworthy.

1. I rode a bus back from Jersey. First time I've ridden a bus since I've been up here actually.
2. I rode a bus back from Jersey. Oh yes, so noteworthy, I noted it twice.

Most everyone who looks at this picture outside of the five or six people who were witness to it's inception will not understand it. It is most certainly an odd picture and although that might be the case I do love it so.

I have no doubts that there's an underlying meaning to this picture but I probably nary a clue as to what it might be. Surely it won't have anything to do with tounges... surely.

So, a couple of nights ago we found ourselves at this place called Scratchers. This was mentioned in my post I made on Saturday. Not too many exciting things have happened since then but I as I uploaded pictures from that night I thought about why it is whenever you see a group of Asians there's always a barrage of picture taking

It's like a damn light fight, each shot being taken with an abundance of "tee-heehees" directly retaliated by another salvo of migraine inducing flashes and giggle-giggle-laughlaughs. Oh well, at least they're (we'ew) having fun. Blissfully ignorant to the long term effects of cataracts and the like.

I'm most certain that this picture taking melee can be to the chagrin of those around said Asians but I seriously don't mind or care. They're (we'ew) having ersatz tomfoolery and they're not. Well, unless they're another group of annoying giggling boobs.

I'm obviously one of 'those guys' that take a myriad of pictures. As a self-delcared camoré (camera + whore; pronounced in a french accent) you'll often find me taking pictures of seemingly useless items or from the oddest vantage points. I don't apologize for this behavior though. Someone's gotta do it and it might as well be a person with a good camera who can take pictures without a flash...

A list of the things that I miss about Knoxville that I was reminded of when by a phone conversation.

10. a slower pace of life
9. grills
8. supper at the parent's house
7. cheap commodites
6. southern accents (the good ones), sometimes
5. midweek movies
4. drive-thru fast food
3. half sweet tea / half regular tea
2. my car, and all that goes with having a car
1. space

I don't know why it is that people have difficulty finding directions or driving in New York City. You would think with clearly laid out street signs such as this surely you'd understand that a one way road can actually be unenterable while also being under construction and unable to be entered by all traffic including pedestrians...