"Table" Tennis...Oeyh...
Ever discovered something in the toy aisle at Target, built up its fun-potential through the roof, and then thought, "Wow (or in my case, Dude)...I really NEED this!"...Okay, maybe you all haven't done that since you were 12, or, perhaps you've maintained a higher maturity level than me since birth (I'm not judging you, I swear...just saying some of us have...and no, I am not trying mitigate any personal deficiencies -maybe I am, but I digress). Anyway, ladies and gentlemen (boys and girls), I purchased this fine device (pictured to your right, courtesy of Amazon -evidently, I got a steal compared to the online price...and yes, i'm unashamedly trying to save some face with meager dollars and cents). I mean, virtual reality HAS to be cool this day in age -they've only been talking about it my whole life now! What better way to test man's technological prowess than through a plug-n-play table tennis game? Am I right? It's shocking how easy this decision was for me.
Well, I purchased it, hooked it up to my TV, and somehow coerced my girlfriend into playing a few games. True to my table-tennis style (trust me, you would remember if we've ever played), I was kickin' tail (and lost two or three matches). The worst part about it (and also true to style), I was taking full-on, Sampras-like forehands, swatting bitch-slap backhands (mere phraseology kids), and manipulating my spins with utmost precision...or so I thought. Meanwhile, my girlfriend, well, she yawned and flicked her wrist every once in a while (which I'm told was later reduced to twitches). I didn't care to notice, as my competitive zeal had already taken over. In fact, what I had purchased was not a Wii. For a brief moment, I had achieved nirvana (or had to be close). I had somehow managed to rekindle my 5-year old imagination while satisfying my inner, mid-20's, bargain-hunting, hunger-driven, consumer-beast and thought my new game was spectacular. In truth, I stood in my living room (sweating) with nothing to show for my money or athletic ability (guys, this is not the way to show off to your girlfriend). It's hard to do but I'll respectfully admit, it's junk -they pulled a "fast" one on me...but, I'll hang onto it (and maybe beat her next time -at VR table tennis...or perhaps a sports trivia contest based solely on the Rick Pitino era at UK circa 1989-1997...ya' know, whatever works). Maybe, just maybe, it will entertain a two-year old one day (or a dog, you never know). Thank goodness I didn't buy the baseball game (I was so close). If I just rained on anyone's parade, my sincerest apologies (at least we can start a support group or something).
